Making mistakes is okay.

Sometimes we do stupid shit. Or say things that unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings. Or do something that you later realise was wrong. 

That is okay!

No one, no matter how perfect they make themself seem, has gone through life mistake free. I make a lot of mistakes which I later regret and have previously beaten myself down about them. But, I’m growing past that and I’ve learnt that it’s okay. Sure, it sucks, but it’s a process that we all learn from. The thought process of recognising when you have made a mistake is a sign that you have grown as a person because you can decipher that it wasn’t the right thing to do. 

I guess I’m writing about this because I’ve been making a hell of a lot of mistakes recently. One of these includes pushing the people that I’m close to away out of fear that they’ll grow to hate me. It’s something that I’ve done for years but I’ve only just come to realise that it’s wrong. But I’m not going to dwell on it! I’ve grown past that and without moving on from these things I will never be able to grow.

No matter how many stupid mistakes you make, never think any less of yourself. No one deserves to lay in bed worrying and self deprecating. Nothing you could ever do would please absolutely everyone so there is no point whittling about the past. It’s done and you can’t change it. What you can do though is work on improving yourself as a person. Treat people the way you want to be treated and  learn from the things you came to regret.

This blog post is kinda disorientated but this topic has been spiralling my mind for a long time now. Stay positive and pick yourself up when you fall.
Meg XXXX

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An open letter to Ecclesfield School.

I’d like to start this off by thanking the people/things that made my time at Ecclesfield School enjoyable. Despite what I’m about to talk about, my time at school hasn’t been completely terrible. I’ve enjoyed the musicals, the concerts, and even the odd lesson. But, unfortunately, what I’m about to talk about isn’t positive whatsoever.

Today was my last official day at school and in the excitement of some form of freedom, I dyed my hair pastel pink. I’ve had perfect uniform for 5 years and have hesitated from dying my hair any unnatural colours (even though I have fantasised about having brightly coloured hair). To be honest, I didn’t think anything of it. Other students seemed to be doing it and I was only going in to sit an exam, then I was going home. So, I walked into school feeling really good about myself when I was stopped at the school gates by the head teacher. I’ll admit, I panicked at this point. 15 minutes before I was due to sit my physics exam and I was told to sit outside my deputy head’s office. Great. So, I sat there patiently and was angrily greeted by the deputy head. I knew I was going to get in trouble, but the way she went about it was really unnecessary. Within this conversation, I was called ‘selfish’ , a ‘dissapointment’ and was told that my hair colour is a distraction to other students. 

This is when my blood started boiling. Not because I was getting into trouble, but because this had all stemmed from a hair colour. You pride yourselves on being a school that massively objects to discrimination , yet you say that having an unnatural hair colour is ‘unemployable’. That is discriminatory! You should be teaching students to be themselves! Not telling them that employers will frown upon them for being who they want to be. Also, maybe you should start telling students to pay attention to their education rather than focus themselves on a girl with pink hair. 

After being talked to like absolute trash, I was ‘escorted’ to an exam hall with less people and was placed right at the back. This not only took 5 minutes off of my required time for my exam, but was completely unnecessary. I walked out of that building after sitting my exam completely outraged because of how such an impressionable school handled such a minor situation. It’s hair. I’ve never truented. I’ve never wore incorrect uniform. I’ve never been a distraction in class. I’ve had no behaviour issues. Yet, I was treated like an imbecile simply because I dyed my hair.

The way you choose to look is how a lot of express themselves. And by suppressing this, you are teaching the youth of today that everyone must look the same in order to fit in. I say scrap that. Obviously, rules are rules, but stripping students of their expression and creativity is beyond belief and clipping young people’s wings isn’t teaching them to be unique. Maybe you should start celebrating individualism and originality rather than deeming it as unnaceptable. I waited 5 years to be myself, and I don’t think that other students should have to. 

Why kindness and love is important.

I’m going to start off this post by saying that I mess up. A lot. I say things that I come to regret, I spend every conscious hour worrying about whether people like me or not and sometimes the decisions I make are shitty ones at best.

But, I am kind.

Kindness is an underrated trait nowadays (Yes, I know I sound old before my time) and there’s a massive pressure to be some sort of cocky badass who takes shit from no one. But , I can assure you that being a decent human being will get you further in life. I can also promise you that Janice from your local corner shop most definitely appreciates it when you tell her to ‘have a nice day’ after purchasing your polo mints.

Its something that not everyone thinks about and it doesn’t seem like a priority anymore. We get told to do what is expected of us everyday and we forget that being loving shouldn’t feel like an extra. It should be something built within us. Something that just comes naturally and it sucks that’s that not the case with a lot of people anymore.

However, I’m not saying you have to be kind all the time. When you’re angry its hard to look at the bigger picture and not want to bash your head against the wall. What I am saying is be nice for the sake of being nice! I love it when people hold doors open for me or make casual conversation with me at the bus stop. It’s a nice feeling. It makes you feel appreciated and believe that the world isn’t all doom and gloom.

So many people get so caught up with jobs and money and tabloids and a whole host of other crap that they think that being a dick is the best way to release their frustration. That’s not okay! You actually find that being nice makes you feel just as good, if not better! The world can already be a shitty place as it is and by being an unpleasant person, you’re just adding to it. Like I said before, I’m not the best person in the world. I lash out at people and scream and cry but in the end, I just end up with a head ache. I feel so much more positive after I tell my mom I love her after an argument. I feel like i’m actually helping when I make my boyfriend a cup of tea when he’s sad. I get a weird buzz when I think I’ve made someone else happy. Much more than I would if I snarled at someone in the street for bumping into me.

This kinda links into bullying. People make fun of the term ‘bullying’ but it honestly baffles me that the act of being continuously mean to someone is so common. It makes me fear for society as people forget that they’re actually having a serious negative effect on someone.

Being a good person isn’t difficult. Random acts of kindness don’t take much time out of your day yet they could make someone else’s (potentially bad) day brighter!

This post is short and seems awfully Disney Channel but please please plEEEEAAASSSSEEE go show someone that you appreciate them today. Write someone a paragraph telling them that you think their hair is cool. Give your significant other a hug. Be the person that you would want to hang out with.

 

Thank you for reading, and in the words of Ellen DeGeneres, be kind to one another.

 

Meg xxx

 

 

The way you choose to look & why it doesn’t matter

**FIRST BLOG POST!! PLEASE READ**

I’d like to thank the lovely Ellie Simpson for inspiring me to start writing a blog. I have far too much stuff happening in my mind to not keep some form of diary! It is slightly scary that this diary will be public, but as the tagline suggests, this blog is literally shit from my brain to yours. I hope you find this cluster of ideas and thoughts a somewhat good read!

 

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Anyone that knows me will know that (for the most part) i’m pretty relaxed. However, when I do feel strongly towards an opinion/subject the only way out of my spiral of thoughts is to vent about them. This is one of those times. I’ve been wearing makeup since y8 ( I am now in y11) and have been really in to alternative fashion for about 2 years, but just recently i’ve started massively experimenting with my appearance. These changes include occasionally drawing on my eyebrows an unnatural colour or wearing purple lipstick. Maybe even wearing weird and wonderful clothes/putting my hair in space bus. This is something that I enjoy phenominally because makeup has fascinated me from being young, and the possibilities that come with a bit of eyeshadow and lipstick are endless. Today was the first day that I went out in public wearing the makeup, hair and clothes that I have messed about with in my bedroom for the last month (displayed in the image above) and the reaction I received from members of the general public shocked me to say the least.

I’d like to just disclaim that I definitely expected some kind of reaction from the odd person. I didn’t walk out of the door with green eyebrows expecting no one to be a little dumbstruck. Also, I can take criticism/negative opinions about the way I chose to look. My maths teacher calls me a goth on a daily basis and I don’t bat an eyelid to it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and its only when said opinion is ignorant and discriminatory that it bugs me.

Another disclaimer before I delve into this subject more vastly, none of what I mention here is exaggerated.

Right, here we go…

I started today by setting off to catch a bus into town where I was meeting my friend. Along this short journey, I passed a woman in her twenties and her (i’m assuming) young daughter holding her hand. Her daughter pointed at me from across the road to then be scolded by her mildly embarrassed mother. I didn’t really have a problem with this at all. I mean, its not the usual thing to happen whilst your walking to the bus stop but the girl was only about five so I couldn’t really get offended. However, her mothers reaction did make me laugh a little.

Once I had then got to the bus stop and got on the bus, I walked past a couple in their late teens/early twenties who completely stopped their conversation to gawk at me in silence and then chuckle to each other when I sat down. This did upset me a little bit because I felt like I should be embarrassed about dressing/looking the way I do. People staring at me is the least of my worries, but if you’re going to be blatantly rude about my appearance, at least make your reaction somewhat dignified.

After that experience, I met up with my wonderful (also pretty eccentric) friend Becca. She’s a gem. Anyways, throughout the day we received a variety of different looks and points and sniggers. If it wasn’t for me being with someone who is so strong willed I would have probably got more upset as the day went on, but in fact, things became happier. Each reaction taught me to laugh it off rather than get angry or upset by it. So for that, thank you Becca.

And finally, the walk home. The looks became less blatant and I learned to not take it personally, but as i approached my house, a City Taxi (calling you out for being such a dick)  driver slowed down next to me, put his side window down and wolf whistled at me. I personally am never flattered by being wolf whistled at as I am not a yorkshire terrier nor am I someone who thinks it is at all necessary for women to be cat-called or degraded in that way. However, it wasn’t his whistle that made me feel small, but it was his snigger as he put his window back up and drove off. It was almost as if he felt like he needed to reassure me that his action was in sarcasm.

Although these things happening to me certainly haven’t made me feel great, they’ve made me think about the way society looks down on people who are different. Individuality is such a beautiful thing. If it wasn’t for each person being unique in some way, the world would be so much less fruitful and interesting. The point that i’m trying to get across is that its the year 2016 and treating people like they’re less of a person because they’re different is the most dumb thing imaginable. As cliche as it is, nobody should ever have to feel ashamed for expressing themselves. If you’re a boy and you want to wear a dress, go for it! Want to wear lots of makeup? Go ahead! Want to dye your hair green? Theres nothing stopping you! If you have the right attitude about your individuality, it immediately becomes the most attractive thing in the world.

So much of the worlds ideas and fashions and thoughts are bottled up because they’re deemed too strange or not ‘in’ or even, dare I say it, ‘gay’. Today, in the scheme of things, hasn’t been brilliant but it has allowed me to take negativity on the chin and focus on not caring what people think. If someone doesn’t like my appearance and they chose to talk about it rather than get on with their own life, thats their problem not mine.

And on that note, I hope this has made some of you less scared to be yourself despite the opinions of others. Go out and be the wonderful beings that you are!!

 

Thank you for reading,

Meg xxx